Rightfully Qualified
by ThreeHotPotatoes
Summary: She's intelligent, classy, powerful, and easy on the eyes to boot. He's ... well, he's qualified for something, all right. And apparently he was on Ellen last week! What happens when the two face off for most prestigious position in the world? Anything can happen in a heated campaign, and knowing us, IT WILL! **3HP Crackfic Drabbles are BACK!**
1. Chapter 1

WE'RE BAAAAACK!

* * *

"What do you mean _Edward Cullen_ is my opponent?" Bella snatched away the papers in her faithful assistant's hands. She had to see it for herself to believe.

A slow smile spread across her lips as she read the news for herself. "Jake! This is perfect. We'll clobber this moron. He doesn't know a damn thing about running the country."

"Well… no, but…"

Bella glared at Jake. "'But' what?"

"Have you seen his face? He's gorgeous." Jake grabbed the papers back and flipped to the glossy 8x10 of Edward's face. "And did you see him on Ellen last week? He—"

* * *

So... I happened to be responding to a review one my verreh first story when I thought to myself... wonder if 3HP has had any reviews this year. So I hop on over here and lo and behold between our six published stories, there were THREE NEW REVIEWS! We figured that was cause for celebration.

To review... just to be clear... about 30 minutes ago I got a bee in my bonnet to do another potato and because my cowriters are the best peeps ever they immediately said YES and here you are.

Buckle up. It's gonna be a disaster.

Leave some love and lettuce know you're here!

xoxo

shell (hot tot)

PS - REMINDER... these are 100 word chapters that born, kitkat, and I take turns writing. There's no discussion between us beyond what we just decided on so we have no idea where the story will go until it gets there. Hope you enjoy!

PPS - This is a crack fic. Any resemblance to real peeps should be cause for concern. We do not intend to touch/emulate/make fun of/promote the real upcoming election at all.

PPPS - In the interest of honesty, a certain potato *not mentioning any names but side eyes a certain ho* talked me into waiting until she could finish the fabulous banner to post the first chapter. Shout out to born for her majestic banner-making skills!


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

"Jake! Down, boy!"

Yes, she'd admit it, Edward Cullen was easy on the eyes, but he was The Enemy now—and the worst kind, at that—the stupid-hot variety. With only sixty-nine days of pre-primary pavement-pounding left, this campaign had no time for puppy-dog pouts.

"Okay, Jake, I need you to scour the internet for dirt on this guy. Yank those skeletons out of the closet! Dig up the buried bodies, and bring me the bones!"

Jake's face clouded with a familiar, anxious expression Bella knew better than to ignore. "What's wrong?"

"What if he finds out about your—"

* * *

BOH, aka _**Ida Ho**_ , here!

Did someone say something about a closet? BONES? And what, pray tell, is Bella hiding? *gasp* (I have no idea, but I have a feeling we'll find out...hopefully before it's my turn again!)

You DID read the warnings, right? Heh. Damn, I love my fellow potatoes, because why else would a somewhat sane person take on this topic right now?

I guess we're going to answer reviews randomly, sporadically, and possibly under the wrong fanfic author names, but please know, even though we think you're a bit loony-tunes for reading this, we do appreciate every single eyeball that roams over our crazy words. And away we go! **XXX ~BOH**


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

"-standing appointment at Madam Jessica's?"

"Do you really think the American public is really going to care that I get my lady pelt waxed every six weeks?" Bella chastised her assistant/campaign manager.

"Well I wouldn't care if our Commander in Chief's beaver was bare but there might be some more…conservative voters who would want a more au naturel look," Jake replied, his eyes glued to the area in question.

"Stop looking at my girly business and get back to finding something we can use to break through his beautiful armor," Bella ordered as she looked out into the office.

A/N: HI! It's Kitkat aka Momma Russet. I'm so happy you have all joined us once again for the insanity! Please feel free to let us know if we stray off the funny path and get anywhere close to real life. We're trying to avoid that at ALL COSTS! There's enough reality in real life. This is just supposed to be funny!

See you around the next round!

KK


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, team! What do we do now?" Edward looked around the room at his trusted advisors. The people he cared for most. Friends who had been with him his entire life and supported every single crazy idea he came up with... even when he declared he wanted to run for POTUS.

"Uhhh..." Emmett scratched the back of his neck. "Didn't really think we'd make it this far, man. Sooooo... Jasper?"

Jasper shook his head and hooked his thumb toward Rose. "Pass."

"Does anyone even know what the GDP _is_?" Alice asked, skimming through a website headlined _Duties of the President_.

* * *

Seemed like it was time to hear from our leading man!

Sorry for the delay, lovelies. I'm poor at time management when things get busy, and well... things got busy!

Thanks for all of the love. You guys are the best. Seriously. To put up with this mess is awesome of you!

Mucho love!

xoxo

shell


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

The Bentley climbed the cobblestone driveway, twisting through the lush maze of elms to the sprawling manor on the hilltop. No matter how long ago Edward had moved to Manhattan, this place would always be home, and his parents would always be his most trusted advisors.

Edward turned to face his chauffeur. "Sure you won't stay? Mom made brisket and latkes."

"Nah, Rosie says I gotta lay off the carbs," Emmett answered, patting his belly ruefully. "Give your folks my best. Pick you up at nine, El Presidente?"

"I really wish you'd stop calling me that."

"Just practicing, boss."

* * *

 **Tonight being Rosh Hashanah eve, I wanted to bring in a little cultural tidbit of my people. Did anyone else notice that both our presidential candidates (the "real" ones) have Jewish sons-in-law? The White House kitchen staff better start boning up on their brisket recipes!**

 **I had a real "Entourage" visual after Shell's last chapter. The role of Turtle will be played by...Emmett McCarty! ;)**

 **To all who celebrate, Happy, Healthy Shana Tova...may all the books you're written in be good ones.**  
 **XXX ~BOH**


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Edward looked at his adoptive mother, the woman who had so many years earlier taken in a mischievous foster kid and made him her own.

"Ready?" Edward asked as he pushed food around his plate. "I don't think one can ever be ready to run for President. But this country is on the precipice of change, and I want to be the one guiding our future."

Esme glanced across the table at her husband, feeling pride oozing from her every pore.

"Guess we did a pretty good job, huh Carlisle?"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry this is a bit late but I had some fun surgery yesterday and I haven't popped back up as I had hoped I would.**

 **I hope you're enjoying this little trip!**

 **Momma Russet aka Kitkat**


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

"We're landing in ten, Senator Swan. And I just got some… interesting news from the opposing party."

Bella laid down the papers she'd been studying. "Interesting news?"

"Apparently there was a mixup—"

"A _mixup_?"

Jake hastened to clarify. "Not on our side. The Cullen Campaign… they thought they were supposed to speak at the PNC Arena today and at Time Warner Cable tomorrow."

"But that's _our_ schedule…"

"Yes," Jake hesitated. "Neither place could reschedule so they suggested to have your rallies... Together."

"Together…" Bella stared at her assistant in disbelief.

"Mmmhmm. Sort of like an early debate. Or two."

* * *

 **Welps - I had no idea where to go from there so I decided to stir the pot a bit! Always a good idea, right?**

 **Let's see what these two crazy kids can get into when they're together!**

 **You guys are awesome, btw. Thanks for loving our crazy.**

 **xoxo**

 **shell**


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

"When I'm president, I'm going to outlaw neckties." Edward scowled at his reflection and the anxious face that popped into the frame behind him.

"I don't think you can do that," Jasper said.

Jasper Whitlock, the quiet kid who kept to himself while the other foster sibs fought over video games, Lunchables, and attention. The first time anybody heard Jasper speak was the day James Turner hit Edward at recess. Fucker didn't think Jasper would tell.

Jasper opened Edward's jacket behind his shoulders. Together, they watched Edward's reflection shrug into the sleeves.

"I hope my father was right about this."

* * *

 **KK kind of hit me in the gut with that "foster child" grenade. Thought it merited some exploration. And everyone knows how I love a good bromance. *sigh***

 **Now, what the h*^* has Carlisle gotten his son into?**

 **Did y'all watch the VP debate last night? When truth is stranger than a crackfic, you know the country is in trouble. SEE YA!  
XOXO ~BOH  
**


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you _mean_ there's no moderator?" Jake tried not to whimper as he cowered away from his very angry boss. They were ten minutes away from a live town hall and the Cullen Campaign had just informed their side that they had decided to proceed without anyone actually running the event.

"It's going to be a free for all!" Bella snarled as she shoved her feet into very uncomfortable stilettos.

"Carlisle Cullen thinks it's going to make you both seem more approachable without a journalist trying to steer you into land mines."

"Or away from them."

* * *

 **A/N: So much fun! Are you having fun? I'm sorry that I have not replied to any reviews, but I can feel your love from here!**

 **Mwah!**

 **KK**


	10. Chapter 10

**11**

The soft whir of a camera captured Bella's humiliation for tonight's Twitter feast:  
 _ **Prince Charming presidential hopeful swoops in to save stumbling senator.**_

"Ugh! Put me down!"

"Are you sure you don't want a close-up of my smarmy, crooked smile?" Cullen waggled his eyebrows for added obnoxious effect.

"I don't know you well enough to slap your face but I'm getting ready to make an exception!"

"Whoa there, missy." Edward's chuckle echoed against Bella's cheek as he gently set her right. "You okay?"

"I will be as soon as you let go of my hand!"

"I haven't formally introduced myself."

* * *

Looks like our dark-horse candidate is gonna win some points on the Twittah. Poor Trippy Bella.

How's she gonna debate this guy when all she can think of is his cologne? *starry eyes*

And what about Mr. Cullen? Is he maybe a little weak-kneed over their encounter?

I DONUT KNOW! Tell us everything, KK!

Glad you crazy kids are enjoying this!  
 **xoxoxox ~BOH**


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

The soft whir of a camera captured Bella's humiliation for tonight's Twitter feast:  
 _ **Prince Charming presidential hopeful swoops in to save stumbling senator.**_

"Ugh! Put me down!"

"Are you sure you don't want a close-up of my smarmy, crooked smile?" Cullen waggled his eyebrows for added obnoxious effect.

"I don't know you well enough to slap your face but I'm getting ready to make an exception!"

"Whoa there, missy." Edward's chuckle echoed against Bella's cheek as he gently set her right. "You okay?"

"I will be as soon as you let go of my hand!"

"I haven't formally introduced myself."

* * *

Looks like our dark-horse candidate is gonna win some points on the Twittah. Poor Trippy Bella.

How's she gonna debate this guy when all she can think of is his cologne? *starry eyes*

And what about Mr. Cullen? Is he maybe a little weak-kneed over their encounter?

I DONUT KNOW! Tell us everything, KK!

Glad you crazy kids are enjoying this!  
 **xoxoxox ~BOH**


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

"I think we can skip the formal introductions, _sir,"_ Bella whisper-hissed under her breath. Both candidates' entire entourage had spilled into the hall, brought out by the ruckus. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan stood standing, face to face, hands entwined as chaos exploded around them.

"He could have knocked her over!"

"He was the one who kept her from falling, you idiot."

"Just like a Overter to blame the women."

"Well only an Underer would play the feminist card!"

"Everyone stop!" Edward's calm, stern voice silenced the roar. "Ms. Swan and I have somewhere to be."

* * *

 **A/N: So it appears we have some parties now. Overters and Underers, I guess. Who knows!**

 **Let's see what happens at the debate. If there IS a debate. We may end up glossing over it, knowing us!**

 **MWAH!**

 **KK/Momma Russet**


	13. Chapter 13

13

Bella avoided looking at Edward. She wasn't too proud to admit that he made her weak in the knees—at least, not to herself. She'd wax her muffin-top during a live debate before admitting her opponent's piercing stare made her panties wet.

"Thank you for catching me, but I was perfectly capable of handling that myself."

"Of course." She saw Edward from the corner of her eye—since she still refused to look directly at him. "But since I handled them, you didn't have to." Edward invaded her personal space and held out his hand. "I'm Edward, by the way."

* * *

YOoooooo, peeps!

Sorry I'm late. You'll probably read me say that a lot this week. Though my crew is safe after Hurricane Matthew, the kiddos missed school today and will again tomorrow. Fingers crossed they go Wednesday b/c this potato has things to do! Thank you guys for being awesome!

I channeled my inner KK in this one. :D Hope you enjoyed!

Your turn, B!

xoxo

shell


	14. Chapter 14

**14**

" _Senator_ Swan." Her handshake was firm, despite her slight frame. This woman was a formidable opponent

"Hey, man." Jasper's hand slapped onto Edward's shoulder. "We need you in makeup."

"Sure thing." With a parting squeeze, Edward released Bella's hand. "See you on stage, _Senator_."

Alice greeted them at the Green Room door and dragged Edward into the vanity chair. "Oh, Lord! Didn't I tell you to stop sweating?"

She patted his forehead and cheeks with the powder puff, sending talc up his nostrils. Edward sputtered and sneezed.

"Jeez, Alice! I'm gonna look like I have a coke habit out there!"

* * *

 **I thought about giving him a toupee but I couldn't mess with the Edward Cullen hair situation! SOME THINGS ARE SACRED, even potatoed!**

 **Watch KK grab the guyliner now. And rouge. Poor Edward.**

 **I'm supposed to be holy till sundown but I'm sure I'll be peeking on FB. Try not to post a lot of delicious food, mkay?**

 **Thanks for reading, you guys!  
MWAH! XXX ~BOH**


	15. Chapter 15

**15**

"What do you _mean_ I didn't win the debate? I was too sniffy. What does that even MEAN?"

"Edward, please calm down," Jasper begged, dogging the flying debris his boss/foster brother launched into the air as he tore into his desk. "These are just a few polls."

"Jaz, these are the only polls that count. If there's any chance of us beating Senator 'Snootypants' Swan, I need to get my hands on those undecided voters."

"I don't think Snootypants is a real word," Emmett helpfully announced as he joined the meeting, a box of donuts in his hand. "Apple fritter?"

* * *

 **A/N: Did I...did I just skip the entire debate? I did. I did skip the entire debate. Just imagine lots of policy fights and name calling and...Senatory Snootypants? Sure. Are you drunk KK? Yes, yes I am. Just enjoy the ride!**

 **MWAH!**

 **KK/Momma Russet**


	16. Chapter 16

**16**

"He just called me Senator Snootypants!" Bella shrieked.

Jake laughed. "You think he knows his mic is still on?"

"Of course not. He's the biggest meshuganah who ever ran for president. How the hell did the Overter party nominate him, anyway?"

"Probably had something to do with his long fingers." Jake raised his eyebrows and grinned. "And best make sure _your_ mic is off before you go insulting him in his native tongue."

"Keep it in your pants, Jake. And of course my mic is off—" Bella's eyes widened as she looked at her mic box. "Well, fuck nuggets."

* * *

Whoopsie doopsie. I forgot it was my turn. And then I remembered and I forgot again. I'm sorry guys. It's been a busy couple of weeks. But my book released last Friday and I finally finished all of the promo blogs for it so I should do a better job going forward!

ALSO - BAHAHAHA. NGL... There are so many things I love about this chapter, and I don't even mind bragging about it.

Hope you guys are having a fantabulous week!

xoxo

shell


	17. Chapter 17

**17**

"Oh, crap." Jake squinted at his phone while scrolling madly down his twitter feed. "Hashtag 'open mic night at the OK Debate.' And you're not gonna like the fan art."

One thing about Jake—he was honest to a fault. Whatever happened with this campaign, she trusted Jake to give it to her straight. Bella gripped the steering wheel of her Tacoma—a decidedly unpresidential vehicle, but how could she cast off her father's high school graduation present?

"Tell me."

"The worst one is a caricature of Cullen holding you in his arms, captioned 'Meshuganah sweeps Snootypants off her feet.'"

* * *

So Edward rides in a Bentley with a chauffeur, and these two kick around in Bella's pickup. Heh.

Thank goodness the last 2016 presidential debate is now behind us! Moving on! Your turn, KK

xoxox  
~BOH


	18. Chapter 18

**18**

"How can this be happening? This can't be happening. I'm just going to close my eyes and when I open them, we'll be sitting at this table getting ready to talk about ways to implement our tuition-free college plan and not trying to figure out how to spin the fact that we call our opponent and a well-known, well-liked senator a Snootypants."

Edward rolled his eyes at Alice's dramatic word-vomit.

"So we have some spinning to do," he admitted, looking around the table at his friends and family, the core of his campaign staff.

* * *

 **A/N: Oh boy. Can you imagine this happening in real life? I would die!**

 **You're up, Shell!**

 **MWAH!**

 **KK**


	19. Chapter 19

**19**

"Go pivot your ass off, buddy." Jasper's strong pat on the back wasn't as reassuring as Edward assumed he intended.

Regardless, Edward took a deep breath and stepped up to the podium.

"Good evening, people of Forks, Washington!" He raised his hand and waved to the cheering crowd. When the noise died down, he flashed a quick, panty-dropping smile and began.

"It's been three weeks since I was on The Ellen Show to discuss how my first 100 days as president will go. Of course, we were cut short when Ellen taught me the new routine from Magic Mike Live."

* * *

*grins*

You're turn, B :D

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, btw. Sorry again for the delay. I offer no promises to do better going forward because clearly I'm unable to keep them.

xoxo

shell


	20. Chapter 20

**20**

Bella drilled her fingertips into her temples, but her headache was unlikely to go away before the convention, and Jake's latest scheme wasn't helping any.

"Bella, we _have_ to do Fallon." The murderous look she shot Jake didn't even slow him down. "Cullen's killing the late-night circuit. His karaoke of 'If I Were a Rich Man' blew up twitter yesterday!"

"Whatever happened to talking about the issues?"

"Issues, _shmissues_. You and Cullen are ideologically aligned on every major topic."

"So you're saying the way to distinguish myself is to take a pie in the face?"

"Three pies, actually… just sayin'."

* * *

 **OH! No wonder we haven't written a word of debate or political platform! NOW it makes sense! Heh.**

 **I thought the three of us were nuts (and we are)... but YOU guys... you have some cray-cray ideas. And I, for one, am stealing them all!**

 **XOXO**  
 **BOH**


	21. Chapter 21

**21**

"I'm just asking for a few minutes of the Senator's time," Jasper whispered through the door of the bathroom stall. He had followed the Senator's right-hand-man into the lavatory in hopes of snagging some time with Edward's opponent.

"Dude, I'm trying to take a shit here," Jake replied, a loud, echoing fart giving smelly weight to his words.

"Gross," Jasper gagged as he squeezed his nose closed with his fingers. "Edward just wants a chance to talk to the Senator."

Jake heaved a sigh, then immediately regretted it as toxic fumes invaded his nose.

"Fine!"

* * *

 **A/N: I apologize for nothing.**

 **Looks like Edward and Senator Snootypants are going to get some one on one time. Maybe they'll join forces or just have some heated hate/love sex? Who knows! Sometimes it's way harder to hand it over to the next spud than I'd like!**

 **MWAH!**

 **KK**


	22. Chapter 22

**22**

"Mr. Cullen." Bella nodded once in Edward's direction.

"Senator Snoo—Swan." Edward felt his cheeks flame in response to his gaffe but plunged forward. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

Bella's smile looked so forced Edward wondered why she even bothered to pretend, and the clear disdain in her voice made the outcome of his upcoming proposition seem fruitless. "No one can say I'm not willing to compromise with the other side. How can I help you?"

"Well," Edward flashed his most charming smile. "I was wondering if I could treat you to dinner sometime… and maybe drinks?"

* * *

 **Uhh... Did he just ask her out on a date? Is this a political move? Has he been taken over by the lizard people from outer space?**

 **I DUNNOOOOO. B?**

 **JSYK... I really wanted to open the chapter with a nice BJ, but it didn't feel quite right just yet.**

 **Love you guys. Thank you so much for your awesome words.**

 **xoxo**

 **Shell**


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

"Yes," Bella answered a shocked Edward. "I'd be delighted to have dinner and drinks… your treat…"

"That's great! When might you have an evening free?" Edward whipped out his iPhone, careful not to let Bella see the screen saver Emmett had set as a joke—Edward's latest campaign photo, goofy "ExtrOVERTs Make Better Presidents" hat and all.

She studied her phone, Edward's heart soaring as Bella searched her schedule for an opening.

"Hmm, the night you concede or the last night of the convention, whichever comes first."

Edward's giddiness oozed out of him like a spent can of Silly String.

* * *

 **What were you thinking, Shell? These two cannot date! What would people say?**

 **Officially started NaNoWriMo with this post... so that's 100 words for me, PLUS the author's note! YAY!**

 **Okay, KK. Where do we go from here? (*whispers*- There are some awfully good suggestions in the reviews!)**

 **XXX ~BOH**


	24. Chapter 24

**24  
**

"Is that how you like it, Bella?"

"Please," Bella moaned as Edward's hands moved down her body, closer to where she was desperate.

"No," Edward scolded as he halted his motions, "if you want it you have to ask for it."

"I want..."

*beep*

"I want..."

*beep*

Bella's eyes popped open, just on the edge of orgasm and was mortified as she realized she had fallen asleep on the plane and her traitorous subconscious had added a new muse.

"Something you'd like to share with the class?" Jake asked.

"I can't wait for this election to be over."

* * *

 **A/N:** **Right?**

 **So Bella has some new spankbank material? Who wouldn't!**

 **This will probably make her mad as she seems like she wants nothing more than to beat the pants off of Edward! *Maybe literally***

 **MWAH!**

 **KK**


	25. Chapter 25

**25**

"You and the rest of the world," Jake quipped. "You ready?"

Bella scrolled through the newsfeed on her iPad. One news site said she had the lead by a mere two points while the very next one claimed Cullen was a sure victor by more than five points. She threw her phone down on the seat next to her in disgust.

"Doesn't really matter whether I'm ready. In just over twenty-four hours, it'll all be over."

"Think he'll concede if you win?"

Bella leveled Jake with her iciest glare. "Of course. He may be incompetent, but he's not an idiot."

* * *

 **Y'all see what she did, don't you? I tried to get these two some private face time together and Born cockblocked Edward! FOR SHAME.**

 **Might as well fast forward to the impending outcome of the election b/c I have no idea WTF is going on here.**

 **You guys are fabulous. Don't stop!**

 **xoxo**

 **shell**


	26. Chapter 26

**26**

Twenty hours to go…

"Bella!" Jake knocked twice, then barged in and strode to the couch. "You really need to see this."

She glanced up at the iPad in front of Jake's crotch. He tapped the green triangle on the screen, and a dark, grainy video started up. Bella moved closer, squinting to make out the details: a well-built man in a leather jockstrap, hands cuffed behind his back, led by a leash attached to a studded collar.

"Is that _Cullen_?"

Jake grinned. "Mmhmm. This primary is over."

"Jesus, is this recent?"

"Amsterdam, 2005."

"Kill it, Jake."

" _What_?"

"Now."

"Why?"

* * *

 **What? Edward's a kinkster?  
Who's trying to hurt our boy? Why won't Bella let them?  
Does she not wanna win this shizzle or does she think this might spike EC's popularity with the voters? **

**OR...wait, OMG! Does she know something we don't? (not saying much-we don't know anything)**

 **OH, KK, do tell!**

 **XOXOXO  
~BOH**


	27. Chapter 27

**27  
**

Why indeed.

Bella glanced at the iPad once more, seeing her chance at a free ride into the White House. All she had to do was release the tape, but that wasn't how she wanted to win. She wanted to win because she deserved it. She wanted to win because she would be the best leader for the country.

And if she didn't win, she would still feel good because she hadn't gone low, she stayed high.

"Kill it, Jake," she repeated.

"Okay, but I think you're missing a prime opportunity."

"Opportunities are overrated."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay.**

 **Not much else to say. I stayed high, so that's a thing.**

 **Love everyone today and everyday.**

 **Mwah**

 **KK**


	28. Chapter 28

**28**

Tears welled in Bella's eyes as she stared at the TV screen with one hand covering her mouth. She hadn't sat down all night for fear of wrinkling her white pantsuit. What kind of winner—or loser for that matter—would she be if she walked out on stage looking disheveled?

Jake appeared next to her and grabbed her free hand. "You okay?"

Bella sniffed and swiped away a stray, fallen tear. "I just can't believe it."

Jake bumped Bella's side and smiled. "I can. Best get your game face on. It's time to go make the big acceptance speech!"

* * *

 **Sorry, y'all. The thought of writing about an election has been nauseating since Tuesday night.**

 **I'm pretending this is how it happened.**

 **Spread the love, peeps. And I know I'm not overstepping my boundaries to assure any of our readers that all 3 of us are safe spaces if you need one right now.**

 **xoxo**

 **shell**


	29. Chapter 29

**29**

"…And I would like to congratulate my opponent for running an honorable campaign. In this day and age, integrity is rare—" Bella sipped from her water bottle, more to gain control of her emotions than to quench any thirst—"which is why my first act as your nominee is to invite Edward Cullen to be my running mate."

A hush fell over the ballroom. Bella met her campaign manager's shocked expression. _Oops, might've run that by Jake first…_

Eyes widened with disbelief, Jake pulled his phone to his ear. Bella made out Jake's "yes," before he hopped on stage.

* * *

 **Oh, what a partnership this could be... if Edward accepted?**

 **Dream cabinet, anyone? Rosalie as Sec o' State? Emmett as Attorney General? Jasper as H &HS?**

 **Sigh... if only.  
XOXOXO**

 **BOH**


	30. Chapter 30

**30  
**

"Can she even do this?"

"Well even if she can, do we want to?"

"He'll never be able to go back to the party, he'll be a pariah."

Edward ignored the chaos and noise around him, choosing instead, to watch his opponent give her victory speech. He had never expected to get this far in a presidential race. He was an actor, not a politician. If he was being honest with himself, the thought of actually running the country scared the ever loving shit out of him.

The thought of helping Bella Swan lead it…well that was another story.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow. I dropped the ball big time. I totally forgot and I am SOOOO sorry!**

 **MWAH!**

 **KK**


	31. Chapter 31

**31**

 **Epilogue**

Bella stared over her raised glass into the bright green eyes she loved so much.

"We did it."

Edward grinned. "We sure did. Not sure which 'it' you're talking about, but it's definitely done."

Bella laughed, clinking her glass to his. "Touche. I was referring more to the running a successful country for the past eight years this time, though."

"That was impressive, but..." Edward grazed the back of his fingers over his wife's newly protruding belly, "not nearly as impressive as this little nugget."

Bella rested her forehead against Edward's. "About that... you're gonna need to start saying nuggets."

* * *

 **Okay friends. It was requested by my fellow potatoes that I wrap this sucker up. If anyone hadn't figured it out yet, us potatoes were (still are) with HER. Writing this after the** **election has been difficult. The inspiration and excitement is gone. The air of uncertainty surrounding our country right now is anxiety inducing and downright frightening. I can't speak for my fellow potatoes, but I adore when we come together to write these silly stories and I've dreaded even thinking about this one since November 8. Please accept my deepest apologies that we couldn't come through for you guys this time. I imagined a whirlwind affair where Bella and Edward got caught having kinky sex somewhere insanely ridiculous and their approval ratings plummet before soaring to the highest of any president ever and then other leaders in other country are so in awe of their awesome sex life that the entire world declares peace and we all live happily ever after singing kumbaya and watching Stranger Things together on Netflix.**

 **Again, I'm so sorry, guys. I wish all of you Happy Holidays, and I really hope we can get another one of these going eventually b/c I'd hate for us to end on this disaster. Love you guys to the moon.**

 **xoxo**

 **shell**


End file.
